Post by judyb on May 28, 2004 11:04:38 GMT -5
Originally posted on just4u By Bev G. (Froyden) on Monday, July 10, 2000 -
I,... am an oldtimer and now just a
sometimer around here. Around the 3-4-5 point mark I got "tired of quitting." Darn it! it shouldn't be an effort anymore, when am I going to stop feeling this
way! etc. I quit months ago, when is it OVER?!! I always thought that using the word "Quit" was a bad choice - but I'm not
sure I know of a better ne. "Quit" is not a process and giving up smoking is.
Quit is something you do, it's an exclamation point, there is no followup, it's
done, end of story.
Giving up smoking is more like getting a divorce. In the beginning you hate the
other party's guts, it hurts and the hurting
reminds you of how bad it was.
But then as time goes by the pain fades and the other party is still there and
you begin to romanticize your time together. Maybe there's other things that
tie you together still. Then you see them around from time to time, maybe think
about the good times and think about how you could maybe get back together and
work things out.
BULL! Actually what's happening is your ex (Nic) is stalking you.
Harassing you everywhere you go. He's interfering with your sleep.
With your other relationships. You begin to think that, well, maybe you can get back
together and it'll be different this time.
It doesn't work in relationships, and it doesn't work with smoking either.
Nic wants your life, he'll kill you if he gets the chance. He was an abusive partner
and just can't wait for the chance to get his hands on you again.
The only way out is to stand strong and DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO to keep
out of his reach. Eventually you'll think about Nic less and he'll begin to fade from
your memory.
In the meantime you have to build a new life without
Nic. Develop hobbies and go
places where Nic isn't welcome. Do deep breathing exercises and learn some
relaxation techniques, etc. Then when you look around you'll see places and things
where you don't have memories of Nic. Or, you have memories of places where
you stood strong against him.
Each day that passes leaves Nic further and further behind in the dust. All you
have to do is get from here to tomorrow.
Bev
I,... am an oldtimer and now just a
sometimer around here. Around the 3-4-5 point mark I got "tired of quitting." Darn it! it shouldn't be an effort anymore, when am I going to stop feeling this
way! etc. I quit months ago, when is it OVER?!! I always thought that using the word "Quit" was a bad choice - but I'm not
sure I know of a better ne. "Quit" is not a process and giving up smoking is.
Quit is something you do, it's an exclamation point, there is no followup, it's
done, end of story.
Giving up smoking is more like getting a divorce. In the beginning you hate the
other party's guts, it hurts and the hurting
reminds you of how bad it was.
But then as time goes by the pain fades and the other party is still there and
you begin to romanticize your time together. Maybe there's other things that
tie you together still. Then you see them around from time to time, maybe think
about the good times and think about how you could maybe get back together and
work things out.
BULL! Actually what's happening is your ex (Nic) is stalking you.
Harassing you everywhere you go. He's interfering with your sleep.
With your other relationships. You begin to think that, well, maybe you can get back
together and it'll be different this time.
It doesn't work in relationships, and it doesn't work with smoking either.
Nic wants your life, he'll kill you if he gets the chance. He was an abusive partner
and just can't wait for the chance to get his hands on you again.
The only way out is to stand strong and DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO to keep
out of his reach. Eventually you'll think about Nic less and he'll begin to fade from
your memory.
In the meantime you have to build a new life without
Nic. Develop hobbies and go
places where Nic isn't welcome. Do deep breathing exercises and learn some
relaxation techniques, etc. Then when you look around you'll see places and things
where you don't have memories of Nic. Or, you have memories of places where
you stood strong against him.
Each day that passes leaves Nic further and further behind in the dust. All you
have to do is get from here to tomorrow.
Bev