Post by judyb on May 28, 2004 11:07:00 GMT -5
Reading a post about how a husband was unhappy with his wife's recent
increase in "online" time made me remember my own skepticism and concern when
I first found this board.
A year ago our computer was still a new item in our house...I have never gotten
too clever with it. I can email and look things up on the web. I could balance my
checkbook with the Quicken intro program that came in the software bundle...but
nothing fancy at all.
I worried over the things I read in the news: cyber-addicts, spouses carrying on
on-line affairs, predators who visited chatrooms and preyed on young people and
the innocent, cyber-porn, etc etc etc.
When I found the Just4U bulletin board, I was very skeptical about interacting
with total strangers. My family and friends would certainly think I was nuts. Some
kind of cyber-weirdo! And I had my own doubts that such support could really
help.
And who WERE these people anyway?? Did I want to post my email? My picture?
Personal info about myself? Would I be inundated with unwanted messages or
hounded by sickos?
Would I become a cyber-addict, neglecting REAL life as Ihunched over my keyboard?
?? Well...there's is no greater believer than a CONVERT they say, and that is me.
I do come here often...and in the beginning, I hardly left...being here kept me
busy, and helped brainwash my head with positive info about being quit. Addicted?
I don't think so, my "real" life is actually richer, fuller and all-around-better than it
was when I smoked. I am more at ease, more patient, more interested in others,
more caring now that I am not letting an addiction control me, my emotions and
my time. I have MORE TIME, so some of it I spend here, hoping to help others as I
was helped and for the benefits I still receive.
No one could have convinced me that I would actually "meet" such kind,
intelligent, wise and realpeople. But I have.
No one could have convinced me that I could find such good information and
advice from "strangers". But I have.
No one could have convinced me how essential daily support would be for me and
how that would be THE difference between past failures and current success. But
it is.
I could not have known how important it would be to have a place where my quit
was always the focus; how I realized that my past failures resulted from losing my
focus and "forgetting" why I quit. Now I know.
I didn't realize how helpful it would be to have a place where no one "forgot" what
a struggle quitting is, no one just "took it for granted", where people patted my
back for making it "one more day". Now I know.
My biggest fear about quitting was whether or not I would be able to survive the
depression and emotional sloppiness that had undermined past quits. I wouldn't
have believed that I could find advice and encouragement and the courage to get
the help I needed when that time did occur. But I found such help here.
I would have called myself a weirdo then if I had imagined feeling so close in spirit
to people I had never met. Now I realize just how much one can share this way
and what an impact we can have on each other's lives. The internet IS a powerful
tool and significant in its ability to bring together from all over the globe people
with a common goal.
I no longer hesitate to tell others what a help this has been...I let them know that
an online suport group was the most influential element of my quit.
Over the years, and at various times I had signed up for about three different
programs to try to quit. Each of them contributed something to my knowledge and
desire to quit...but they were each limited to once-a-week meetings and
continued for six weeks at most. And they all cost money.
This cyber-support group is free...it meets daily...and for as long as I need it. I
think all of us would agree that we need support for longer than 6 weeks and in
more intense doses than once-a-week!!
Thank you Al, again and again, for providing us this place. It does so much good
and is such a "safe" place to come. Thank you all, my fellow "cyber-weirdos" for
being who and what you are...real people who care about others enough to take
the time to come here and be advisors, supporters, cheerleaders, sympathizers,
scolds, humorists...and friends.
origianally posted on just4u by Kathleen (Kathy) on Wednesday, January 19, 2000
