Post by judyb on Apr 18, 2005 13:38:46 GMT -5
This is nothing original. I've read reference to this idea here, the old me and the new me; the
Smoker and the Non-Smoker doing battle. The NEW person we wish to be has to battle the
NicoMonster AND that other part of ourselves that still wants and needs to smoke. The first fews
days is a real knockdown dragout fight! Almost cartoon-like, stirring up so much dust in the
struggle that a cloud/fog is created. We question our sanity when we don't understand the power of
that other person inside of us that wants to sabatoge our efforts. It's helpful and makes this much
easier when we confront that other ME to discover just what it is that the ME is afraid of and hiding
from. Once we win that old ME over to the side of the new ME, things begin to make sense again. It's
the convincing that is the hard part. Who will be the most powerful? We make the choice because it
is simply "a choice". We know that nothing terrible will happen when we finally cut off the nicotine
supply to our bodies...it's that OLD ME that gets pissed! It stubbornly does not want to change
without first being convinced by the NEW ME why the same old thing isn't good enough anymore.
The OLD ME is always still there, a part of us, but has surrendered to change and the OLD
memories are still fresh until we make new ones. The nicotine battle is really the easiest and
quickest to win but it's the war within ourselves that drags on for so long. We each have to somehow
make the Non-Smoker the strongest and most determined before we can claim victory and reap the
rewards. It's a struggle, like learning to walk. With practice it gets easier but the learning process
isn't always pretty!!
I have a picture of being in a desert and knowing that the rule is, if a person doesn't have nicotine in
their body then they can have all of the nice cool clear water to drink that they desire for life. If they
choose to use nicotine instead, they do not have or deserve the priviledge of drinking from the
supply. Their only choice is to pray for rain or they will simply die without it. They've chosen to
gamble on killing themselves waiting for some miracle to save them. Each time it's a choice.
Let's keep making the right one!
LadyNan
What are we giving up? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!