Post by Ann on Jun 9, 2004 13:00:48 GMT -5
STAGES OF GRIEF
When we quit smoking so many hundreds of changes occur not only in our body, but also on an emotional level of our being.
There was a post earlier about crying. Those are healing tears. Emotions that have been held down for years as we "smoked at them." Many of us have smoked for the majority of our lives. For some of us that well be over 40 years of inhaling a substance that helped us to cope with our feelings and disappointments. We didn't need a reason to smoke. It was a way to life.
There is a Grief process that occurs when we quit this addiction. It is as real as any other kind of grief. Grief is the loss of someone or something that is an important part of our lives. During the early stages of grief, we are lost, confused and totally turn inside out. Nothing makes any sense, yet we struggle to find our way through the maze of confusion.
Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross wrote about the 5 Stages of Grief. They are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Sadness and Acceptance. We move through these different stages in cycles. It is not a 1 -2- 3 type of process. Life doesn't work that way. So we find ourselves weaving through these different levels of Grief until we have finally found that level of Acceptance. At that point we have peace inside. We have let go of the addiction. It no longer rules our lives. We are free to walk without carrying the burden of our addiction on our backs.
In moving through and processing our Grief we are learning to surrender to the process of life and our recovery from addiction. Often we still try to avoid this process. We don't want to feel, or perhaps we are afraid to feel, so smoking still tries to lure us into its trap. It is often with anger and trying to bargain our way through thee process that we move through the Guilt process. Seldom do any of us do this dance very pretty. We are awkward, not know how to let go and move forward.
After all the crying, screaming, yelling, bargaining, anger, denial........ as we think we are about to die, suddenly comes the acceptance, that deep incredible knowledge of acceptance. The fight is over, for the most part.
Understanding how the grief process works with stopping smoking is very important. This is a process. We are learning new things about ourselves, about life each day. Gaining strength, self esteem and love we are growing, learning new important facets about ourselves we did not know before.
Work toward being gentle with yourself as you move through this grief process. Understand that this really is a process, and not an event. Yes, we have a quit date, that marks the day we last inhaled nicotine into our bodies, but learning to live as a non smoker IS A PROCESS.
Knowledge is power.........
~~ Billi
Found on QuitNet
When we quit smoking so many hundreds of changes occur not only in our body, but also on an emotional level of our being.
There was a post earlier about crying. Those are healing tears. Emotions that have been held down for years as we "smoked at them." Many of us have smoked for the majority of our lives. For some of us that well be over 40 years of inhaling a substance that helped us to cope with our feelings and disappointments. We didn't need a reason to smoke. It was a way to life.
There is a Grief process that occurs when we quit this addiction. It is as real as any other kind of grief. Grief is the loss of someone or something that is an important part of our lives. During the early stages of grief, we are lost, confused and totally turn inside out. Nothing makes any sense, yet we struggle to find our way through the maze of confusion.
Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross wrote about the 5 Stages of Grief. They are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Sadness and Acceptance. We move through these different stages in cycles. It is not a 1 -2- 3 type of process. Life doesn't work that way. So we find ourselves weaving through these different levels of Grief until we have finally found that level of Acceptance. At that point we have peace inside. We have let go of the addiction. It no longer rules our lives. We are free to walk without carrying the burden of our addiction on our backs.
In moving through and processing our Grief we are learning to surrender to the process of life and our recovery from addiction. Often we still try to avoid this process. We don't want to feel, or perhaps we are afraid to feel, so smoking still tries to lure us into its trap. It is often with anger and trying to bargain our way through thee process that we move through the Guilt process. Seldom do any of us do this dance very pretty. We are awkward, not know how to let go and move forward.
After all the crying, screaming, yelling, bargaining, anger, denial........ as we think we are about to die, suddenly comes the acceptance, that deep incredible knowledge of acceptance. The fight is over, for the most part.
Understanding how the grief process works with stopping smoking is very important. This is a process. We are learning new things about ourselves, about life each day. Gaining strength, self esteem and love we are growing, learning new important facets about ourselves we did not know before.
Work toward being gentle with yourself as you move through this grief process. Understand that this really is a process, and not an event. Yes, we have a quit date, that marks the day we last inhaled nicotine into our bodies, but learning to live as a non smoker IS A PROCESS.
Knowledge is power.........
~~ Billi
Found on QuitNet