Post by Ann on Jun 9, 2004 13:06:24 GMT -5
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to
wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing
machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your
shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Maryland."
And they say blondes are dumb...
____________________________________________
A couple is lying in bed.. The man says, "I am going
to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
____________________________________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says
as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you
think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she
replied.
____________________________________________
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have
wanted to make love to you really bad.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
____________________________________________
He said - What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
____________________________________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
sensitive man?
A: A rumor
____________________________________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their
special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been such a devoted couple she would
grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her
husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in
her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years
younger...
Whoosh... immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
____________________________________________
AND THE BEST ONE YET...
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
____________________________________________
A PRAYER...
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I may beat him to death.
wash his sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he
shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing
machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your
shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Maryland."
And they say blondes are dumb...
____________________________________________
A couple is lying in bed.. The man says, "I am going
to make you the happiest woman in the world"
The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
____________________________________________
"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says
as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you
think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn
like this?"
"Probably that I married you for your money," she
replied.
____________________________________________
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I have
wanted to make love to you really bad.
She said - Well, you succeeded.
____________________________________________
He said - What have you been doing with all the
grocery money I gave you?
She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
____________________________________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking,
sensitive man?
A: A rumor
____________________________________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their
special day a good fairy came to them and said that
because they had been such a devoted couple she would
grant each of them a very special wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her
husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in
her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years
younger...
Whoosh... immediately he turned ninety!!!
Gotta love that fairy!
____________________________________________
AND THE BEST ONE YET...
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
____________________________________________
A PRAYER...
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I may beat him to death.
