Post by judyb on Sept 25, 2005 8:48:53 GMT -5
SWEET ENDINGS
How we cope with the significant changes in our lives is as unique as
the shifting sands of our own individual situations and personalities.
It is not really teh why and how that are important, but more that we
acknowledge the changes life brings and adapt to them
Adjusting to changes takes time. First there is that period when we let
go of what has been or what we have been. Next is the period when
we are neither here nor there, neither one way of being or another.
This is a "liminal" time (limen is Latin for 'threshold'). Finally we arrive
at a new place or a new way of being.
The first phase may be hard, and a little scary. But through it we are
learning that "letting go" is an all-important first step. This is
especially true if the immediate past was a comfortable fit for us. We
may have been happy with the way things were: We were dealing with
the known, and there were few surprises. Then things change.
Sometimes we initiate the change. Sometimes it happens to us.
We often mark change with celebrations, or we celebrate what has
been. Seldom, it seems, do we focus on where we are going or what is
to come. So it's no wonder that the period of change--when we are
neither here nor there--can be so hard, so challenging.
What can we do to make saying good-bye easier?
First, admit to yourself that there is a change, and allow yourself the
time and space to adjust. Be gentle with yourself as you feel the stress
of transition. Then:
Look Ahead Acknowledge the change and consider the possibilities.
Plan Ahead Make a list of goals and tasks, talk to other people, dream.
Go Ahead This might just be the time to try something totally new.
Credits: written by Marlene S. Joseph. Published in IdeaNet, July/Aug
1998 Vol1 No10
How we cope with the significant changes in our lives is as unique as
the shifting sands of our own individual situations and personalities.
It is not really teh why and how that are important, but more that we
acknowledge the changes life brings and adapt to them
Adjusting to changes takes time. First there is that period when we let
go of what has been or what we have been. Next is the period when
we are neither here nor there, neither one way of being or another.
This is a "liminal" time (limen is Latin for 'threshold'). Finally we arrive
at a new place or a new way of being.
The first phase may be hard, and a little scary. But through it we are
learning that "letting go" is an all-important first step. This is
especially true if the immediate past was a comfortable fit for us. We
may have been happy with the way things were: We were dealing with
the known, and there were few surprises. Then things change.
Sometimes we initiate the change. Sometimes it happens to us.
We often mark change with celebrations, or we celebrate what has
been. Seldom, it seems, do we focus on where we are going or what is
to come. So it's no wonder that the period of change--when we are
neither here nor there--can be so hard, so challenging.
What can we do to make saying good-bye easier?
First, admit to yourself that there is a change, and allow yourself the
time and space to adjust. Be gentle with yourself as you feel the stress
of transition. Then:
Look Ahead Acknowledge the change and consider the possibilities.
Plan Ahead Make a list of goals and tasks, talk to other people, dream.
Go Ahead This might just be the time to try something totally new.
Credits: written by Marlene S. Joseph. Published in IdeaNet, July/Aug
1998 Vol1 No10