Post by judyb on Oct 1, 2005 14:22:16 GMT -5
originally posted by Bev G. (Froyden) on Monday, July 10, 2000 -
I am an oldtimer and now just a
sometimer around here.
Around the 3-4-5 point mark I got "tired of
quitting."
Darn it! it shouldn't be
an
effort anymore, when am I going to stop feeling
this
way! etc. I quit
months ago,
when is it OVER?!!
I always thought that using the word "Quit" was a
bad
choice - but I'm not
sure I
know of a better one. "Quit" is not a process and
giving up smoking is.
Quit is
something you do, it's an exclamation point, there
is
no followup, it's
done, end of
story.
Giving up smoking is more like getting a divorce.
In
the beginning you
hate the
other party's guts, it hurts and the hurting
reminds
you of how bad it was.
But
then as time goes by the pain fades and the other
party is still there and
you
begin to romanticize your time together. Maybe
there's
other things that
tie you
together still. Then you see them around from time
to
time, maybe think
about the
good times and think about how you could maybe get
back together and
work
things out.
BULL! Actually what's happening is your ex (Nic)
is
stalking you.
Harassing you
everywhere you go. He's interfering with your
sleep.
With your other
relationships.
You begin to think that, well, maybe you can get
back
together and it'll be
different this time.
It doesn't work in relationships, and it doesn't
work
with smoking either.
Nic wants
your life, he'll kill you if he gets the chance.
He
was an abusive partner
and just
can't wait for the chance to get his hands on you
again.
The only way out is to stand strong and DO
WHATEVER
YOU HAVE TO
DO to keep
out of his reach. Eventually you'll think about
Nic
less and he'll begin to
fade from
your memory.
In the meantime you have to build a new life
without
Nic. Develop hobbies
and go
places where Nic isn't welcome. Do deep breathing
exercises and learn
some
relaxation techniques, etc. Then when you look
around
you'll see places
and things
where you don't have memories of Nic. Or, you have
memories of places
where
you stood strong against him.
Each day that passes leaves Nic further and
further
behind in the dust. All
you
have to do is get from here to tomorrow.
Bev
