Post by Ann on Oct 3, 2005 9:03:57 GMT -5
A talk with my daughter
I recently had a serious talk with my 32 year old daughter. I was telling her about someone who is about her age and whose mother is in ICU with lung disease. Her mother is only 3 years older than I am. Her mother is on morphine, not for pain, but to relax her enough so she can get some air into her lungs and not go into the automatic "fight or flight" mode that your body does when it can't breathe. She will probably never leave the hospital. There are 4 stages of COPD. I have Stage 3. Stages 1 and 2 were just "smoker's cough" and I jumped right into STAGE THREE COPD without knowing it!
I shared this story with my daughter and told her that eventually because of the progression of this disease (even if you quit, COPD keeps progressing just more slowly), I will end up in the same place as this young woman's mother.
I apologized to her for what my beloved children will eventually have to go through and asked my daughter to please tell her brothers when that time comes, how sorry I am that I didn't quit sooner and that they had to see me like this and hurt like they will.
This was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had with one of my children.
She just put her arms around me and told me how much she loves me and that she knows this will happen someday but she hopes it will be much longer (well, she said she'd like me to live to be 100...*S*)
She also said that she knows that I never meant to get this disease and told me how happy she is that I've quit.
But it hurts me to see my family hurting so much.
But, that doesn't take away the panicked looks in my children's eyes when I'm lying in the Cardiac Care Critical Care Unit like I was a few weeks ago (yeah, now I have heart disease, too). Or my little 2 year old granddaughter who asks her mom if Gramma CeeCee is going to be an angel in heaven. She was so worried about me!
The kids are planning a family trip to Disneyland (knowing that it's one of my favorite places and that I've been too ill to go). They've planned it for next March for my granddaughter's 3rd birthday so I'll be able to experience her wonderment. I know they are doing this to keep me feeling positive about my recovery and to give me something to work towards....(being well enough to ride around in my little wheelchair).
Even my oldest son who is so busy with his own life is scaring me because he's calling for no reason! Guess he's scared, too! But unfortunately, not scared enough to quit smoking himself.
And then there's my sweet, loving hubby of just 5 years. He's learning to do household chores he's never had to do before. He's great with rubbing out muscle cramps caused by the neverending imbalance of my metabolics (like potassium). He suffers through nights of sleeplessness and often reaches over to feel if I'm still breathing (he just told me about that yesterday). He didn't deserve this! But am I blessed!
My best advice is to just continue loving your daughter unconditionally no matter what.
My own mother never quit smoking and she died from lung disease in 2003 and there absolutely nothing I could have said or done to convince her quit.
Hugs,
Gramma CeeCee
rossonranch.com/Quit.html
I recently had a serious talk with my 32 year old daughter. I was telling her about someone who is about her age and whose mother is in ICU with lung disease. Her mother is only 3 years older than I am. Her mother is on morphine, not for pain, but to relax her enough so she can get some air into her lungs and not go into the automatic "fight or flight" mode that your body does when it can't breathe. She will probably never leave the hospital. There are 4 stages of COPD. I have Stage 3. Stages 1 and 2 were just "smoker's cough" and I jumped right into STAGE THREE COPD without knowing it!
I shared this story with my daughter and told her that eventually because of the progression of this disease (even if you quit, COPD keeps progressing just more slowly), I will end up in the same place as this young woman's mother.
I apologized to her for what my beloved children will eventually have to go through and asked my daughter to please tell her brothers when that time comes, how sorry I am that I didn't quit sooner and that they had to see me like this and hurt like they will.
This was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had with one of my children.
She just put her arms around me and told me how much she loves me and that she knows this will happen someday but she hopes it will be much longer (well, she said she'd like me to live to be 100...*S*)
She also said that she knows that I never meant to get this disease and told me how happy she is that I've quit.
But it hurts me to see my family hurting so much.
But, that doesn't take away the panicked looks in my children's eyes when I'm lying in the Cardiac Care Critical Care Unit like I was a few weeks ago (yeah, now I have heart disease, too). Or my little 2 year old granddaughter who asks her mom if Gramma CeeCee is going to be an angel in heaven. She was so worried about me!
The kids are planning a family trip to Disneyland (knowing that it's one of my favorite places and that I've been too ill to go). They've planned it for next March for my granddaughter's 3rd birthday so I'll be able to experience her wonderment. I know they are doing this to keep me feeling positive about my recovery and to give me something to work towards....(being well enough to ride around in my little wheelchair).
Even my oldest son who is so busy with his own life is scaring me because he's calling for no reason! Guess he's scared, too! But unfortunately, not scared enough to quit smoking himself.
And then there's my sweet, loving hubby of just 5 years. He's learning to do household chores he's never had to do before. He's great with rubbing out muscle cramps caused by the neverending imbalance of my metabolics (like potassium). He suffers through nights of sleeplessness and often reaches over to feel if I'm still breathing (he just told me about that yesterday). He didn't deserve this! But am I blessed!
My best advice is to just continue loving your daughter unconditionally no matter what.
My own mother never quit smoking and she died from lung disease in 2003 and there absolutely nothing I could have said or done to convince her quit.
Hugs,
Gramma CeeCee
rossonranch.com/Quit.html
