Post by Ann on Oct 6, 2005 7:43:02 GMT -5
This is about addiction in general not specifically nicotine but worth a read.
The Addiction Experience
-- Stanton Peele
An important part of surrending to a person's drug of choice is the feeling that they are not strong enough to resist it - not worthy to resist it. In some sense, they see addiction as the proper state of affairs. This negative self-image and the low self-esteem on which it is based are key points in the cyclical descent into an addiction.
For the addict is someone who does not feel good about self, who dislikes the person s/he is. Addiction is predicated on a fear of the world, which is mainly an anxiety about one's own ability to cope with it. Whatever his or her actual ability, the addict believes s/he is incompetent in some significant way or area of life.
Leap of Faith
The person embarking on a planned strategy of change must continue to shift between these large and small issues of change. Addicts who begin to replace an addiction with a new relation to the world take a few small steps which are not enough, initially, to guarantee that the new identity can support itself. They are making a leap of faith, starting on a journey whose end-point they can only envision at some dim future time. To keep on the path they have laid out they must continually return to the image of the person they ultimately want to be. At the same time they must anticipate the rewards the new self will gather by seeking recognition for the gradual progress they are currently making. Perhaps a therapist or other addicts engaged in similar struggles can provide this support and acknowledgment. But the individual must be the first to note how well s/he is doing.
The effort to change always involves moments of weakness and distress at not making the headway one hopes for. These are the crucial moments in fighting addiction. One has to be prepared to confront backsliding with a degree of equanimity which will prevent despair and giving up. Therapies for overeaters emphasize that, should people slip from a diet, they should not give themselves over to guilt of the kind that leads to an uncontrolled binge. One mistake is one mistake, no more and no less, and the person must be the first to make allowances if this will enable sticking to the overall course of action.
As the person's lifestyle shifts, s/he grows slowly into his or her new image. New, more constructive behaviors emerge as old compulsive behaviors fall away; real rewards flow to the individual for the new person s/he continues to become. As a former addict, care has to be taken that old patterns don't return. There are certain settings which former addicts may never feel strong enough to be in without risking a relapse. Often these involve being with people, like a mate or parent, whose behavior either in general or around the specific addiction sets off the addictive cycle. For this part of therapy, serious decisions about relationships-whether to de-emphasize some or even leave some behind entirely-have to be made. Ex-addicts may also have to stay away from activities or substances to which they have extreme responses for whatever reason. For obese people these may be rich foods which are high in sugar content and which produce for them an uncontrollable double dose of guilt and a "sugar rush."
Curing addiction is straightforward and incredibly difficult at the same time. It takes no secret potions or mechanisms aside from rearranging whole areas of one's life and parts of all aspects of that life. Addiction is at the very heart of life, at the same time that it is antagonistic to life. It is a turning away from life, a limiting of oneself which is not only unnecessary but is ultimately destructive. Therefore anything which enhances life combats addiction, and an existence which is rich and fruitful offers the best assurance that addiction will not appear or reappear. And, finally, combating addiction is a never-ending process. Nobody is ever completely there, just as nobody is absolutely free of addiction in all areas of his or her life.
The Addiction Experience
-- Stanton Peele
An important part of surrending to a person's drug of choice is the feeling that they are not strong enough to resist it - not worthy to resist it. In some sense, they see addiction as the proper state of affairs. This negative self-image and the low self-esteem on which it is based are key points in the cyclical descent into an addiction.
For the addict is someone who does not feel good about self, who dislikes the person s/he is. Addiction is predicated on a fear of the world, which is mainly an anxiety about one's own ability to cope with it. Whatever his or her actual ability, the addict believes s/he is incompetent in some significant way or area of life.
Leap of Faith
The person embarking on a planned strategy of change must continue to shift between these large and small issues of change. Addicts who begin to replace an addiction with a new relation to the world take a few small steps which are not enough, initially, to guarantee that the new identity can support itself. They are making a leap of faith, starting on a journey whose end-point they can only envision at some dim future time. To keep on the path they have laid out they must continually return to the image of the person they ultimately want to be. At the same time they must anticipate the rewards the new self will gather by seeking recognition for the gradual progress they are currently making. Perhaps a therapist or other addicts engaged in similar struggles can provide this support and acknowledgment. But the individual must be the first to note how well s/he is doing.
The effort to change always involves moments of weakness and distress at not making the headway one hopes for. These are the crucial moments in fighting addiction. One has to be prepared to confront backsliding with a degree of equanimity which will prevent despair and giving up. Therapies for overeaters emphasize that, should people slip from a diet, they should not give themselves over to guilt of the kind that leads to an uncontrolled binge. One mistake is one mistake, no more and no less, and the person must be the first to make allowances if this will enable sticking to the overall course of action.
As the person's lifestyle shifts, s/he grows slowly into his or her new image. New, more constructive behaviors emerge as old compulsive behaviors fall away; real rewards flow to the individual for the new person s/he continues to become. As a former addict, care has to be taken that old patterns don't return. There are certain settings which former addicts may never feel strong enough to be in without risking a relapse. Often these involve being with people, like a mate or parent, whose behavior either in general or around the specific addiction sets off the addictive cycle. For this part of therapy, serious decisions about relationships-whether to de-emphasize some or even leave some behind entirely-have to be made. Ex-addicts may also have to stay away from activities or substances to which they have extreme responses for whatever reason. For obese people these may be rich foods which are high in sugar content and which produce for them an uncontrollable double dose of guilt and a "sugar rush."
Curing addiction is straightforward and incredibly difficult at the same time. It takes no secret potions or mechanisms aside from rearranging whole areas of one's life and parts of all aspects of that life. Addiction is at the very heart of life, at the same time that it is antagonistic to life. It is a turning away from life, a limiting of oneself which is not only unnecessary but is ultimately destructive. Therefore anything which enhances life combats addiction, and an existence which is rich and fruitful offers the best assurance that addiction will not appear or reappear. And, finally, combating addiction is a never-ending process. Nobody is ever completely there, just as nobody is absolutely free of addiction in all areas of his or her life.