Post by Ann on Oct 14, 2005 7:40:35 GMT -5
The Necessary *Inner Comittment*
From BilliB
Many times before I got here I had tried to quit. Didn't make my first couple of tries here either but finally the light bulb came on for me.
Within me was a yearning for a deep inner comittment that I wanted, more than anything else, to be smoke free. I had been a hostage, captive, prisoner, and slave to Nicotine for most of my life. Many times I tried to escape, but this addictive substance came looking for me ~ calling out my name. I was weak, my addiction to nicotine was strong.
I was bloody, bruised, humilitated, shamed, and sick from my weakness and addiction. Each lost quit took me lower into the dark pit. Like some of you, I watched other stop smoking and start adding up clean days. I was livid with myself, feeling like such a total failure. I read, I prayer, I wished.... and I stayed around the Q a lot.
...the inner comittment finally was able to burst through into the sunshine of the day. I stepped up for yet another attempt to quit, but this time I knew in my mind that I would do ANYTHING not to smoke. I knew by this time that ONE PUFF, could do me in and I would be back up to 2 packs a day.
Yes it was a fight...... a fight for my own life. I was, for the first time, actually choosing to live rather then poison myself as I headed for my death from nicotine related disease. It was like wrestling with an alligator.... I could feel those strong jaws snapping around me. I had to force myself to deal with my fears, to overcome them and keep that life affirming comittment not to take that FIRST PUFF.
NOPE = Not One Puff Ever became my motto. I finally realized just how totally addicted I was and that I was the ONLY ONE who would kick the addiction. I learned how to turn over my craving to my *higher power*, asking for strength. The battle was on, and my saving grace was that inner comittment to not smoke.
No more excuses, no more lies..... no more using anger as a reason to smoke. Plain and simple, I became totally responsible for my own recovery from nicotine. I knew other had done this before me, but somehow I felt weak and just unable to quit. Determination, a fight for life, and a deep inner comittment were my tools.
Look at where you are today in your quit process ~ oh yeah, it is a process. Are you using excuses so you can take yet one more puff. Do you want to go back out and smoke more, just to test the water ? Are you in touch with that deep total comittment to never again take a puff ?
Look for that special healing place inside yourself..... the place where Inner Comittment stays. :-)
If I can do this, you can. I believe that with all my heart. Stick with your decision to live smoke free. Look for the sun........ it is shining, waiting for you to step up
Billi
found on Quitnet
From BilliB
Many times before I got here I had tried to quit. Didn't make my first couple of tries here either but finally the light bulb came on for me.
Within me was a yearning for a deep inner comittment that I wanted, more than anything else, to be smoke free. I had been a hostage, captive, prisoner, and slave to Nicotine for most of my life. Many times I tried to escape, but this addictive substance came looking for me ~ calling out my name. I was weak, my addiction to nicotine was strong.
I was bloody, bruised, humilitated, shamed, and sick from my weakness and addiction. Each lost quit took me lower into the dark pit. Like some of you, I watched other stop smoking and start adding up clean days. I was livid with myself, feeling like such a total failure. I read, I prayer, I wished.... and I stayed around the Q a lot.
...the inner comittment finally was able to burst through into the sunshine of the day. I stepped up for yet another attempt to quit, but this time I knew in my mind that I would do ANYTHING not to smoke. I knew by this time that ONE PUFF, could do me in and I would be back up to 2 packs a day.
Yes it was a fight...... a fight for my own life. I was, for the first time, actually choosing to live rather then poison myself as I headed for my death from nicotine related disease. It was like wrestling with an alligator.... I could feel those strong jaws snapping around me. I had to force myself to deal with my fears, to overcome them and keep that life affirming comittment not to take that FIRST PUFF.
NOPE = Not One Puff Ever became my motto. I finally realized just how totally addicted I was and that I was the ONLY ONE who would kick the addiction. I learned how to turn over my craving to my *higher power*, asking for strength. The battle was on, and my saving grace was that inner comittment to not smoke.
No more excuses, no more lies..... no more using anger as a reason to smoke. Plain and simple, I became totally responsible for my own recovery from nicotine. I knew other had done this before me, but somehow I felt weak and just unable to quit. Determination, a fight for life, and a deep inner comittment were my tools.
Look at where you are today in your quit process ~ oh yeah, it is a process. Are you using excuses so you can take yet one more puff. Do you want to go back out and smoke more, just to test the water ? Are you in touch with that deep total comittment to never again take a puff ?
Look for that special healing place inside yourself..... the place where Inner Comittment stays. :-)
If I can do this, you can. I believe that with all my heart. Stick with your decision to live smoke free. Look for the sun........ it is shining, waiting for you to step up
Billi
found on Quitnet