I Am Okay

[Ann]

***A MOTIVATING STORY***


Hey everyone. My name is Alex and every few months I try to hop on the Q and share my story. Here I go again...I hope this helps.

When I started to smoke, it was as if I had found the drug that I had been looking for my entire life. I went from zero to half a pack almost instantly...and by the time I was twenty I was smoking about two packs of cigarettes a day. I have never met a person who was more addicted to cigarettes than myself. I smoked every moment of the day possible. I smoked when I was happy...and when I was sad...I smoked when I was anxious...and when I was relaxed...I connected cigarettes with pretty much every single emotion I ever had.

Problem is, as I got into my twenties...my health started to decline. At first it was no big deal...I would get a cold and it would turn into a nasty chest cold....I would go to the doctor's...they would tell me I was still young and that i should quit blah blah blah blah blah....They would give me antibiotics and I would be on my way (lighting up as I left the doctor's office)...

Then, my doctor visits stopped being so simple. I would get bronchitis on a regular basis...the doctor's stopped telling me I was too young to be getting serious problems...I was getting serious problems. They started requesting that I get XRays to check the status of my lungs...and when they looked at the XRays...they noted how my lungs were swollen from all of the smoking...and that I was sure to have emphysema if I kept the smoking up. I kept right on smoking though...it wasn't that I didn't care...I just couldn't picture my life without cigarettes.....No one understood how addicted I was.....no one understood how difficult it was for me to keep myself from smoking. I was a full fledged addict.

Finally, my health became so poor that I was pretty much in a permanent state of bronchial trouble. When i woke up in the morning it hurt to breath...I was winded at every moment of the day...it was horrible. During my last bout of bronchitis it dawned on me that cigarettes were going to kill me...and that no matter what, i HAD TO QUIT...

Now, this may seem like a moment in which everything becomes clear to me and suddenly becomes easy. I think this is the misconception that many heavy smokers like myself have when they're attempting to quit. Deciding to quit is important....no doubt...but it is NOT easy in any way shape or form...

In one sentence: I was an absolute and total wreck.

The first week actually wasn't so bad. I think I was so afraid that I had done permanent damage to myself...that my mind concentrated on that and I didnt' even want to smoke. Then the cravings came. I cannot describe how awful it was...I cannot describe how badly I wanted to smoke. I went a little bit insane. I was sure I had cancer...I was sure that I was dying...I was sure that the sky was going to fall on me. I was having constant anxiety attacks. I was crying on a daily basis for no reason at all. In short, I felt a constant bad feeling inside of me all of the time. It was awful.

The reason I post this is b/c one of the things that really got to me while I was trying to quit was how easy it seemed for some people. Sure they would describe horrible cravings...and they would say that they were a little more anxious than usual...but everything I read never even came close to the absolute hell I was going through.

Let me be clear, I WAS IN HELL. I was constantly sick...I was in a constant state of anxiety and panic...and I constantly wanted cigarettes. IT...WAS...HORRIBLE...

AND...it didn't end in a month. I was a mess for a good six months...I was using Zoloft...Wellbutrin...and the patch...and I still wasn't myself for a good half a year....and even after that it took a while to get back on my feet.

Now...after all that horror...I want to bring you up to present.

I quit the worst habit I've ever had a little bit over three years ago. It was without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

And you know what? I'm OKAY!!!! I am okay!

Many of you that read this will find this post overly dramatic...and that's ok...but some of you will know what i'm talking about...they will know that they are addicted to cigarettes a whole lot more than most of you...that their lives are being totally turned upside down by their quit...and to those people...i want you to know that I've been there and that I am living proof that it does get better.

Life DOES get back to normal...even though it feels like it absolutely never will...and believe me, i know that feeling of KNOWING that it will never get better...don't listen to that voice....listen to me....IT WILL GET BETTER!!! YOU WILL BE OKAY!

Just remember, no matter WHAT...don't smoke! Do whatever you have to do not to smoke...just don't smoke. It's the only thing you have to remember while trying to quit....no matter what...dont' smoke. It will not be easy....but you can do it. I am convinced that if I can quit cigarettes, anyone can!

Anyway, I hope this helps someone out there. Good luck! My heart goes out to those of you that are having a really tough quit and I wish I could be there to comfort you.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!!

found on quitnet

[Flo]

Excellent post. A reminder of the power of the addiction of nicotine. Although this quit was relatively easy for me - I have gone through other quits that were like this post - and of course, guess which side won!

It's taken many years for nicotine addiction to come to light and hopefully it will help those smokers who are desparately trying to quit. It is not a matter of will power. How to help those that are going through Hell in their quit? First, the why must be firmly implanted in your mind. For me it was the question, Which Battle is Easier? The battle to quit smoking today or the battle to save a diseased or dying body tomorrow.

It would help to read the article posted by Ann entitled Option A or B and the answer becomes crystal clear.

Secondly, education. The mind must be taught and the rest will follow. Education not only about the health risks of smoking but of the quit itself, the journey, the ups and downs of the journey, the tricks to teach those following us. That's what this site is for thank goodness.

The worst part of the quit is the first 72 hours. Then the nicotine is gone from our bodies. The rest is habit, mental, emotional. And each trigger, each crave you encounter, will never occur again. Just say no until it passes. It should only take a couple of minutes but it will seem like an eternity. And the following crave will seem to be identical, but it isn't. They may be very similar but they are not. The more you smoked, the more the triggers will seem to be alike as cigarettes filled your day, but hang in there. They are different and it won't occur again. And all the craves little by little will be gone, done with. Beware of those incidents which were rare - perhaps weddings - as they can sneak up on you unawares and you will react to it.

One of the insights I learned was glucose levels. So many of the low blood sugar symptoms are tied in with withdrawals but that's because our eating habits were so out of shape and when we quit smoking, it is laid bare. No more nicotine to kill our appetites. So, you need to make sure you eat a lot of complex carbohydrates - raw vegetables, whole grain (I go with organic as well) breads and cereals, fruits - this will keep your blood sugar from plummeting during your withdrawals and after. And cranberry juice during the first 72 hours to help get rid of the nicotine. And of course, lots of water. Keep draining that nicotine out of your system.

Then after that Hell, there is the relapse thing - you know, the holiday, the desert island, the reggae music playing, the sun, the white sands, the little demon on your shoulder whispering, "How could one hurt right now? You're on holidays, who would know? You can quit when you get back home." Beware of these things.

I stay away from alcohol as well as there is a special relationship between smoking and drinking. Until I am sure, I stay away from alcohol.

And finally, after that, to make up your mind, no one day at a time, but forever. And never giving the passing thoughts of smoking the "Ahhhh" cigarette any credence. Remember, one puff, and you're back to the carton and more! It's a progressive disease, just like alcohol.

And thoughout all this, remember that as long as you NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF you'll be just fine. That's all. Just don't take that puff. No matter what. It will get easier and comfort and ease will come.

In perserverance comes furtherance.

Whew! The rambles of us ex-smokers huh? Hopefully, this was of some help to someone out there.