Post by judyb on Jun 30, 2004 11:13:59 GMT -5
I find it amazing that there is this tendency to "look back fondly at smoking." I know that I did
the same thing during previous (failed) quits.
If you are very honest with yourself, you will most likely discover that it was never the smoking
that was pleasant.
I can remember times when I was very relaxed, very content, really enjoying life. One that
comes to mind was a magnificent summer day about 20 years ago. During a trip to Tennessee,
a friend and I climbed a mountain to the very top where we could look out over hundreds of
square mile of several states. I sat on the top of a boulder on the top of that mountain, feeling
like I was on top of the world and nearly in heaven. I clearly remember that exact time and how
I felt with the sun, the breeze, the view. It was perfect -- a once-in-a-lifetime moment. I also
remember that, while I was sitting there, smelling that clean air, feeling that
breeze, listening to the birds I reached into my shirt pocket, pulled out a cigaret
and my Zippo lighter and lit up.
I can look back now and KNOW for certain that I was serenely happy at that moment because
of the moment, NOT the cigaret. BUT I also know that I associate that moment with the fact that
I happened to be smoking.
When I was a smoker, I smoked to punctuate every moment of my life. I smoked when I had my
morning coffee, I smoked when I got into my car, I smoked when I got stuck in traffic, or when I
was cruising down an empty highway. I smoked when I was bored, I smoked when I was
excited... or sad, or mad , or glad, or frustrated, or elated, or lonely or nervous...well, you get
the picture. And I know that many of you have been there.
The individual moments of my life, good or bad, existed independent of my nocotine addiction
or my smoking. I realize now that my fond memories are associated with smoking only because
smoking was so intimately entwined in my life.
I no longer look back fondly on SMOKING. I do wonder, however, how wonderful those moments
might truly have been had I not been forced by my addiction to satisfy my overwhelming urges
and sully the happy moments with cigarets.
just4u - Vince - 1/2000
the same thing during previous (failed) quits.
If you are very honest with yourself, you will most likely discover that it was never the smoking
that was pleasant.
I can remember times when I was very relaxed, very content, really enjoying life. One that
comes to mind was a magnificent summer day about 20 years ago. During a trip to Tennessee,
a friend and I climbed a mountain to the very top where we could look out over hundreds of
square mile of several states. I sat on the top of a boulder on the top of that mountain, feeling
like I was on top of the world and nearly in heaven. I clearly remember that exact time and how
I felt with the sun, the breeze, the view. It was perfect -- a once-in-a-lifetime moment. I also
remember that, while I was sitting there, smelling that clean air, feeling that
breeze, listening to the birds I reached into my shirt pocket, pulled out a cigaret
and my Zippo lighter and lit up.
I can look back now and KNOW for certain that I was serenely happy at that moment because
of the moment, NOT the cigaret. BUT I also know that I associate that moment with the fact that
I happened to be smoking.
When I was a smoker, I smoked to punctuate every moment of my life. I smoked when I had my
morning coffee, I smoked when I got into my car, I smoked when I got stuck in traffic, or when I
was cruising down an empty highway. I smoked when I was bored, I smoked when I was
excited... or sad, or mad , or glad, or frustrated, or elated, or lonely or nervous...well, you get
the picture. And I know that many of you have been there.
The individual moments of my life, good or bad, existed independent of my nocotine addiction
or my smoking. I realize now that my fond memories are associated with smoking only because
smoking was so intimately entwined in my life.
I no longer look back fondly on SMOKING. I do wonder, however, how wonderful those moments
might truly have been had I not been forced by my addiction to satisfy my overwhelming urges
and sully the happy moments with cigarets.
just4u - Vince - 1/2000