Post by judyb on Jul 7, 2004 11:11:20 GMT -5
I just got to reading something and it really got me thinking. Many of us have that feeling of "loss" about quitting. And we follow the normal greiving process to recovery. And I just realized..
Smoking is like having a boy/girlfriend that is really bad for you (ie...abusive).
You break up with them because you know you have to. Initially, you are gung-ho that he.she's gone. You were angry because he/she pooped all over your person, and you are just happy to be rid of the mean *******. But the anger begins to subside. You can't be angry forever. And you start to forget how nasty he/she was to you. You begin to remember the bad times less and less and those rare good times more and more. It's your rearview mirror. It distorts.
Sometimes, you end up calling him in the middle of the night. The next day, you feelt guilty and turn to friends for support and help. As happens, some friends get mad and yell at you for talking to him. Others are supportive and encourage you to stay away from him.
So you keep going. Day by day, you can start to see your life changing. You no longer miss him being a part of your day-to-day functioning. You can start to see a future without him. You begin to "wake up." You feel stronger in yourself for every day that you are without him.
As time passes, you only think of him rarely. You remember him and think...man, I should call him. You do or you don't. You have let go, but the memories are vivid and human nature and curiosity run into things, making you unstable.
You call. And he claims that all of this time without you has changed him. So you go back to him. You think..."I can walk away any time. I'm not in as deep as I was before." But once he gets you, you are trapped again. This guy is like quicksand.
Or...you don't call. You decide that the abuse wasn't worth it. And you move on. You find other loves, and other ways to improve on you. And you are strong. And you break the cycle.
I would like you to meet my abusive ex. His name is nick.
KTQ
Kim
found on QuitNet
