Post by Ann on Mar 13, 2009 7:53:32 GMT -5
If you care about your loved ones...Please read!!!
Yesterday, my father, my sister and myself sat and waited...waited and sat in the waiting room of the hosp where my mom was getting her surgery done. So many things went through my head at that time...mostly memories. Memories of the precious times that we have spent together as a family. All the laughs, the tears...the good times,the bad. I thought about how much she mean't to everyone. Especially my daughter. Oh how much they love one another. The connection between the two is something I can't even put into words. All I know is that if my little Bailey lost her grandma this early in life, a part of her would be lost forever. I began bargaining in my head. "If you spare this woman, I'll change..I'll make her change." Fear swept through my body. "OMG..what would this world..my world..be like if she doesn't survive this surgery?!?!" "What is the reasoning for taking a lady who is so important to so many people away?!?" I found myself thinking "I'm going to have to be the strong one if the surgeon comes out with bad news. I will have to do all the planning of her funeral. I will be the one who will have to hold everyone together. Am I strong enough to do it? It didn't matter. I would have to do it anyway. How could we go on living without mom?! How would I explain to my little girl that she can no longer visit her precious grandma?!? I spent hours wiping tears off of my cheeks.
For hours I haunted my mind with these feelings and thoughts. I actually prepared myself for the worst. I was ready for what was to be thrown at me. And then the surgeon walked in. I was waiting for him to motion us to step into the counseling room, but he didn't. He sat across from us and smiled. "It was bad..much worse than what we suspected. But we took care of it. She'll be fine now." I wanted to fall to my knees and cry out all of the pain and worry that plagued my body for oh so long. All of this torment. The fear, the worry, the sadness..it all could have been prevented if my mom simply didn't smoke. We wouldn't have been sitting in that waiting room wondering if we should be planning her funeral if she didn't smoke. She made me so mad at that point. I was so angry at her for being so selfish. She was willing to throw away her family for something that gives her 5 minutes of pleasure. After her recovery, we were able to visit her. This strong woman that I once knew...she looked so frail. She looked so sick..so tired. I touched her chalky colored hand..it was so cold. But she was alive! and she would be ok. The surgeon said so. And then she spoke. "I sure could use a cigarette". I stood there dumbfounded. But then she added..It's too bad I can't chew my nicotine gum. A wave of relief overcame me. She's going to still try to stay quit. A tear came to my eye. Everything is going to be ok!
Walking out of the intensive care unit, I passed a lady around my age who said to her friend.."Let's hurry up so I can go out and have a smoke." I turned to her so quickly and I glared at her. "Is that your discomfort right now? An insignificant craving?!?" I wanted to drag her into my moms room by the hair and show her what cravings do to a person....and to the people who love them.
Every smoker has their time when they get their "sign" to quit. Mine was those irritating anti-smoking commercials. My mom's was massive surgery. If you ignore your sign..you WILL end up where my mom is...most likely worse. Maybe you'll be decorated with a toe tag. Please people..don't let the cravings get the best of you. Don't make your loved ones go through what my family and I went through yesterday. Show your love and smile. All they are is simple cravings. It could be ALOT worse.....
michelle
D43
found on Quitnet
Yesterday, my father, my sister and myself sat and waited...waited and sat in the waiting room of the hosp where my mom was getting her surgery done. So many things went through my head at that time...mostly memories. Memories of the precious times that we have spent together as a family. All the laughs, the tears...the good times,the bad. I thought about how much she mean't to everyone. Especially my daughter. Oh how much they love one another. The connection between the two is something I can't even put into words. All I know is that if my little Bailey lost her grandma this early in life, a part of her would be lost forever. I began bargaining in my head. "If you spare this woman, I'll change..I'll make her change." Fear swept through my body. "OMG..what would this world..my world..be like if she doesn't survive this surgery?!?!" "What is the reasoning for taking a lady who is so important to so many people away?!?" I found myself thinking "I'm going to have to be the strong one if the surgeon comes out with bad news. I will have to do all the planning of her funeral. I will be the one who will have to hold everyone together. Am I strong enough to do it? It didn't matter. I would have to do it anyway. How could we go on living without mom?! How would I explain to my little girl that she can no longer visit her precious grandma?!? I spent hours wiping tears off of my cheeks.
For hours I haunted my mind with these feelings and thoughts. I actually prepared myself for the worst. I was ready for what was to be thrown at me. And then the surgeon walked in. I was waiting for him to motion us to step into the counseling room, but he didn't. He sat across from us and smiled. "It was bad..much worse than what we suspected. But we took care of it. She'll be fine now." I wanted to fall to my knees and cry out all of the pain and worry that plagued my body for oh so long. All of this torment. The fear, the worry, the sadness..it all could have been prevented if my mom simply didn't smoke. We wouldn't have been sitting in that waiting room wondering if we should be planning her funeral if she didn't smoke. She made me so mad at that point. I was so angry at her for being so selfish. She was willing to throw away her family for something that gives her 5 minutes of pleasure. After her recovery, we were able to visit her. This strong woman that I once knew...she looked so frail. She looked so sick..so tired. I touched her chalky colored hand..it was so cold. But she was alive! and she would be ok. The surgeon said so. And then she spoke. "I sure could use a cigarette". I stood there dumbfounded. But then she added..It's too bad I can't chew my nicotine gum. A wave of relief overcame me. She's going to still try to stay quit. A tear came to my eye. Everything is going to be ok!
Walking out of the intensive care unit, I passed a lady around my age who said to her friend.."Let's hurry up so I can go out and have a smoke." I turned to her so quickly and I glared at her. "Is that your discomfort right now? An insignificant craving?!?" I wanted to drag her into my moms room by the hair and show her what cravings do to a person....and to the people who love them.
Every smoker has their time when they get their "sign" to quit. Mine was those irritating anti-smoking commercials. My mom's was massive surgery. If you ignore your sign..you WILL end up where my mom is...most likely worse. Maybe you'll be decorated with a toe tag. Please people..don't let the cravings get the best of you. Don't make your loved ones go through what my family and I went through yesterday. Show your love and smile. All they are is simple cravings. It could be ALOT worse.....
michelle
D43
found on Quitnet