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Post by KAREN on Sept 19, 2010 8:47:12 GMT -5
My husband has had a rough time with the quitting smoking. While he has had months smoke free at a time, he is smoking again, a small fraction of what he did before but he is still smoking. My neighbors who quit back in the 70's were giving him the business, one of which still smokes cigars. His wife said, "yeah but he does not inhale." I about fell over and wanted to say, who is he Bill Clinton?? I guess for me if I were smoking cigars I would still consider myself a smoker regardless of inhaling or not. And I am sure for me it would not be very far of a jump to smoking cigarettes again...just sayin. My husband made the comment if he did not inhale his cigarettes does that make a difference? He knows the answer to that all too well, more of a joke then anything. I was just wondering about people's opinions on people who quit smoking but smoke some other form of tobacco still. My neighbor has made the comment that he buys only the purest of tobacco in his cigars. Ok....whatever LOL.
I know that I quit on the patch, so for 10 weeks I still had amounts of nicotine in my system, I was just not inhaling it. I did what I needed to do to quit smoking and have not smoked a cigarette since September 8, 2005 and am very grateful. Lord knows I had my struggles with quitting as some of you on here may remember. And all the excuses in the world when I would light up again. Maybe people could split hairs on my choice of quitting too but if I were still on the patch all these years I would have to question my quit as I do my neighbor's.
Ok....rambling now but I guess my question to you all is what do you consider totally smoke free. Seems like a simple question but the conversation between my neighbors and my husband got me to thinking about it. I feel if I am to be smoke free, I cannot smoke anything, whether it be a cigarette, pipe, cigar, or what have you.
Karen
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Post by Ann on Sept 19, 2010 18:32:26 GMT -5
Ok....rambling now but I guess my question to you all is what do you consider totally smoke free. Seems like a simple question but the conversation between my neighbors and my husband got me to thinking about it. I feel if I am to be smoke free, I cannot smoke anything, whether it be a cigarette, pipe, cigar, or what have you.
KarenTo me 'being smoke free' would be to not smoke anything. I may be totally smoke free right now but I'm still an ex-smoker so in reality that isn't really smoke free. If you never smoked in your life - EVER - that is totally smoke free.
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Post by Flo on Sept 20, 2010 16:25:47 GMT -5
Hi Karen. Kudos to you for maintaining your quit with your hubby still smoking (not to mention neighbours who smoke). Quitting is hard enough to do without the temptation of smokers around you so good on you for keeping the quit. As to your question of what is totally smoke free...well, let me say that your husband's smoking "a bit" is still not quitting and he knows it. As for not inhaling, well, the smoke still sits around your face and in your mouth and tobacco chewers get cancer of the mouth from chewing tobacco so I would imagine smoking but not inhaling would be just as detrimental. My inclination is to not get involved in those types of arguments. They are too childish to bother with. However, the only thing I would say is that they should do it outside and not polute the air around non-smokers (like you). It's all about the 2nd and 3rd hand smoke then isn't it? I read a study where they found that 3rd hand smoke is even more lethal than 2nd hand smoke. Third hand smoke is the residue left on clothing, furniture etc. So, if they want to play with fire, let them, but do it outside like all the other smokers. Harsh? Yes but you asked... ps My sister's husband has taken up cigars. He is an ex football player and in his day, he was totally anti-smoking and hated anyone who smoked and now look at him...my sister tells me that he will sit in the garage and smoke. It is an indoor garage so it drifts upstairs anyhow. He obviously smokes in the car too so when she uses the car it reeks of cigars. He's not only spewing out 2nd hand smoke but 3rd hand smoke. She asked me to say something (in good humour of course) and I told him that he was endangering the mother of his children but it didn't make any difference. I don't know what's gotten into him...perhaps it's helping him keep his weight down...perhaps it's a mid-life crisis... In the end, all relationships are about oneself anyhow. Don't harm others that's all. You can't do anything about anyone else's behaviour. It's about your relationship to yourself. Keep your quit, keep your stillness inside and keep your quit - no matter what.
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Post by KAREN on Sept 20, 2010 19:00:21 GMT -5
Thanks for your responses. Ann I do see what you were saying and maybe it was the way I posted about being totally smoke free. Yes, I am an ex-smoker too and I did smoke for years but I meant at the present time in my quit.
Flo, my husband does smoke outside, something he did not do before when he started smoking again and my neighbor does it outside too. I think his wife would clobber him if he tried to smoke that thing in their house LOL.
I like this and this is why I did not stay for the whole conversation that day.
I just think if I say I am an ex-smoker or that I quit smoking then I am not smoking anything and hopefully one day at a time for the rest of my life. I guess at the end of the day, I only am responsible for my quit and not those of others or how they define it. I can support people and help them with their quit but I cannot control how or why they do it.
Thanks again for your responses. The reason I came here with this post is I knew I would get honest, gut level, responses that I can take into consideration.
Karen
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Post by Flo on Sept 22, 2010 17:21:44 GMT -5
Hi Karen. Your responses made me recall an elevator conversation in which this guy on the elevator was in the elevator when I went up and then when I was coming down, he got on as well. I made a comment about he must have stopped to have a cigarette (as I could smell it) and I said it in a light hearted way and that I used to smoke too, but I suppose he's heard it all before and said that I must be a reformed smoker...which took the conversation on a different turn. Anyhow, smokers are touchy aren't they? It is sometimes best to just leave it alone and wait for them to ask or bring it up. I know I used to be like that (though it's hard to recall that person now he he)...there is a woman in this office who quit smoking last year and was quite stand offish about it saying that it was easy to quit and implying (or at least I felt it to be so) that she didn't need support and well, guess who's sneaking out for cigs now...well, it's best to let them find their own way and in the meantime, as long as they aren't polluting your world, to concentrate on your own quit.
Hang in there kiddo! You are truly an amazing person, all the hills and dales you have had to traverse to get where you are today...amazing.
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Post by KAREN on Sept 25, 2010 10:11:01 GMT -5
Hi Flo and thanks for the response again.
I have noticed that he smokes cigars but would not have said anything to him or put this much thought into it had he not said what he said to my husband that day. I work really hard not to be one of those "reformed smokers" who judges people as I hated that when I smoked. I also know how hard it is to quit smoking. People have actually judged me for being too easy on people who go back to smoking or won't quit. I really am a "live and let live" person LOL. But if you are judging me or someone I love about something, well hopefully you are not doing that what you are judging us about. I know when I go on their deck that there may be occasions where he will be smoking a cigar and I always figured well I made the choice to go there while he was smoking. His deck, his right to do what he wants.
Anyways, I have chalked this up as a lesson myself and a true test of patience too LOL.
Thanks for your thoughts and responses. I am going back to the "Live and Let Live" philosophy again.
Karen
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Post by ncpops on Sept 28, 2010 17:53:28 GMT -5
Looking for excuses to smoke: I"m cutting back to 1 a day, I"m using a pipe istead of cigarettes, I"m gonna stop this weekend, it keeps me from gaining weight, my lungs are fine, don't inhale, etc, etc. BULL! Nicotein & carcinagins get in to the body be it lungs or water or whatever. And cells die. One day the x-rays don't look very good & you begin to become short of breath. If you want to live longer stay away from tobacco products.
Been there, doing that! Jimpops
smoke
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Post by KAREN on Sept 29, 2010 20:52:32 GMT -5
Nope, not looking for an excuse to smoke here. I am the happiest not smoking for sure. Good for my health and good for my pocket book too. But I do remember using all the excuses when I was not ready to to quit smoking, that's for sure. I choose not to be hooked up to oxygen or deal with emphysema, pneumonia like I did, or cancer, heart disease and so many other things that the smoking can cause.
Karen
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