Post by judyb on Jul 13, 2011 4:56:22 GMT -5
I was thinking about something a quitter said recently about their SO
observing that the quitters 'attitude' was more positive in the
beginning
and now is sliding toward a more 'victim/defensive' posture, or
something like that. Bottom line being that they aren't as up and
positive about the quit as they were initially. This set me thinking
about attitude and the politics of attitude.
Is attitude something that either exists or not? and we're either the
beneficiaries or not? As far as quitters go, why are we often
enthusiastic with a 'good attitude' early in the quit and then find our
attitude wearing thin and not so supportive and buoyant by the time
we're a couple of months quit? I don't have answers to these......
but my hunch is that attitude is a function of our actions and thoughts
as much or more than it's the basis for our actions and thoughts. Make
any sense?
What did we do to quit? What did we do to get 'ready' to quit? Didn't
we think about quitting, a lot? Didn't we set a quit date and try to get
some quit aids together and in place? Didn't we talk to others and
establish a support base? I think we build the attitude we feel in the
early days/weeks of quitting by our preparations, by our thoughts and
actions. And what do most quitters do once they've set the quit in
motion? They take their hands off the wheel and just roll blindly
down the road! They 'trust' that the quit aid will buoy and support
them. (This goes for cold turkey also. How many repeatedly underestimate
the intensity and duration of detox and recovery in spite of past
experience?) As a quitter begins to get worn down by the moment after
moment of a quit, and most of us go through that weariness from time to
time at different stages of quit, might they begin to feel not so
enthusiastic about the quit in general and their quit method in
particular? How will attitude be effected if the quit aid turns out to
not be so useful or, even worse, impossible to use? If wisps of
depression are present or begin to appear, will the quitter withdraw
from their support system? And by withdrawing, will they lose the
benefits of feed back and validation from others in the same place?
I don't think a good 'quitting attitude' is a thing we step into or
onto and can expect that it will continue on it's own. Yet it appears to
me that that's exactly what most of us do. How long will my car roll
down the road before it hits something if I'm not steering?? I do think
that we can revitalise and reinforce attitude by actively and
conscientiously following some structured thinking patterns. (the ABC
cognitive exercise or something similar) Structured evaluation of
current patterns can often provide clearer and more realistic options
which, in turn, can result in a feeling of security. I think a positive
attitude will grow better and stronger if some security is mixed into
it's foundation.
ddsteve - alt.support.stop-smoking
--
www.mindmills.net/cognitivequitting
observing that the quitters 'attitude' was more positive in the
beginning
and now is sliding toward a more 'victim/defensive' posture, or
something like that. Bottom line being that they aren't as up and
positive about the quit as they were initially. This set me thinking
about attitude and the politics of attitude.
Is attitude something that either exists or not? and we're either the
beneficiaries or not? As far as quitters go, why are we often
enthusiastic with a 'good attitude' early in the quit and then find our
attitude wearing thin and not so supportive and buoyant by the time
we're a couple of months quit? I don't have answers to these......
but my hunch is that attitude is a function of our actions and thoughts
as much or more than it's the basis for our actions and thoughts. Make
any sense?
What did we do to quit? What did we do to get 'ready' to quit? Didn't
we think about quitting, a lot? Didn't we set a quit date and try to get
some quit aids together and in place? Didn't we talk to others and
establish a support base? I think we build the attitude we feel in the
early days/weeks of quitting by our preparations, by our thoughts and
actions. And what do most quitters do once they've set the quit in
motion? They take their hands off the wheel and just roll blindly
down the road! They 'trust' that the quit aid will buoy and support
them. (This goes for cold turkey also. How many repeatedly underestimate
the intensity and duration of detox and recovery in spite of past
experience?) As a quitter begins to get worn down by the moment after
moment of a quit, and most of us go through that weariness from time to
time at different stages of quit, might they begin to feel not so
enthusiastic about the quit in general and their quit method in
particular? How will attitude be effected if the quit aid turns out to
not be so useful or, even worse, impossible to use? If wisps of
depression are present or begin to appear, will the quitter withdraw
from their support system? And by withdrawing, will they lose the
benefits of feed back and validation from others in the same place?
I don't think a good 'quitting attitude' is a thing we step into or
onto and can expect that it will continue on it's own. Yet it appears to
me that that's exactly what most of us do. How long will my car roll
down the road before it hits something if I'm not steering?? I do think
that we can revitalise and reinforce attitude by actively and
conscientiously following some structured thinking patterns. (the ABC
cognitive exercise or something similar) Structured evaluation of
current patterns can often provide clearer and more realistic options
which, in turn, can result in a feeling of security. I think a positive
attitude will grow better and stronger if some security is mixed into
it's foundation.
ddsteve - alt.support.stop-smoking
--
www.mindmills.net/cognitivequitting