The Monster in my Belly

[judyb]

The Monster In My Belly....
Date:
1999/03/10
Author:
Roadkill <[e-mail]>
Posting History


The Monster In My Belly... (Warning! posted last May 11th, my first
24 hours)

I was intending to use the info given by Allen Carr along with
patches starting last night--but was intrigued enough by what I read to delay
putting on the patch in order to experience the withdrawal as long as I
could--I had two patches to tide me over, anyway.

I wanted to try and "welcome" the pangs....

But I really think of "it" as the monster in my belly--the one makes demands
on me--to get up and drive to the store at night--to hurry up through
dinner--etc...., so he can be fed. Even as I put out my cigarette, he's already
working up a need for the next one....

Last night when I put the last one out and had no intention of driving to
the store, I could tell he was mad. I begged off a visit from my gent.friend,
last night, and tonight as well, so it could just be the monster & me.
About three times today, the monster let loose with,

"Feed me dammit" "right now, dammit" dammit, dammit, "Feed me right now,,
dammit, dammit, dammit."

"Feed me dammit" "right now, dammit" dammit, dammit, "Feed me right now,,
dammit, dammit, dammit."

While he was yelling, I noticed that my shoulders felt tight, as did my neck---I
took a nap this am. Upon waking went to Walmart
and lost my car--absolutely could not remember where I parked it.
Fortunately it was the only yellow car there.


"Feed me dammit" "right now, dammit" dammit, dammit, "Feed me right now,,
dammit, dammit, dammit."
"It doesn't matter you know--one won't hurt you, you've always kept me fed
before.....

I gave the monster dried cranberries. and then a HagenDaz icecream bar.

Don't know what to do about the boyfriend--he can be frustrating--and I
can't do frustration right now.--He's a slippery place.

Roadkill