Post by judyb on Jul 25, 2004 18:48:17 GMT -5
I actually don't miss smoking.
After almost a year and a half of smobriety, I have conditioned myself to replace the void that
smoking used to occupy with less destructive activities. I don't miss the cigarets I would smoke
at parties or meetings to disguise my self-consciousness. I have learned to take a break at work
without having to get a nico-fix. I can drink coffee, have a thingytail, mow my lawn, finish a meal,
drive my car (or sit in traffic), eat breakfast, visit a diner, take a walk ... and do all of the
thousands of routine activities that we all accomplish each day without having a cigaret.
I am not tempted by having smokers around me ... including my wife who smokes nearly a pack
a day of the same brand I used to smoke. I find the smell of cigaret smoke to be repulsive
rather than enticing. When my business partner walks past my desk, the smokers' stench serves
as a reminder of how repulsive the results of this habit can be, rather than as a temptation to
indulge.
Cigarets have lost their glamour and their appeal. Even the imported cigars on which I
occasionally loved to splurge have lost their mystique.
One aspect of smoking that I do miss is all the fantasy and ceremony that surrounded the
activity. I miss the romance that has been inculcated by a lifetime of Marlboro men and movie
stars. I want to be Bogie in Casablanca, Sean Connery in Goldfinger, Cary Grant ... well I'd
like to be Cary Grant even on his worst day in any role. They were suave, debonair,
sophisticated and they all smoked.
Smoking was not only acceptable, it was virtually required in polite society. Look at the old TV
shows from the fifties and sixties ... everybody smoked. Lucy and Ricky smoked, Ed Norton
smoked, Darren and Samantha Stevens smoked, even Dr. Ben Casey, MD smoked (and if you
remember Ben Casey, then you're really showing your age. I remember him well.)
I find myself not so much missing smoking as missing being able to smoke without worry.
I miss smoking the same way I miss cars with big tail fins, solid steel dashboards and NO seat
belts. Four or five decades have not made those gas-guzzlers any less safe than they were
coming out of the showroom. All that has happened is that we, as a society and as a people,
have recognized the inherent danger in some of our behavior and have modified such behavior
based on our acknowledgement of the danger. Cars now have seat belts, padded dashboards,
air bags, crumple zones, steel roll cages and a thousand more safety features. Of course
today's cars are much safer than the cars of half a century ago ... but I miss the bliss of
that sublime ignorance.
As a child I "smoked" candy cigarets to be like the grown-ups and looked forward to the day
when I could join the ranks of the smokers as a rite of passage. When I began smoking real
cigarets as a teenager, my friends and I knew we were being cool, hip and we were impervious
to any danger. We smoked to be adults, and ironically we smoked with impunity because we
were so young.
For those who are still smoking and looking for the "way" to quit, remember that there is no
magic bullet, no master key, no "one-size-fits-all" cure. But please also keep in mind that there
may be a very real element of fear in approaching your prospective Quit.
... How will you fit in at parties?
... What will you do with your hands when speaking?
... How will you spend your coffee break?
... What will you do when you are bored?
...... or afraid?
...... or lonely?
...... or just relaxing?
And most of all,
...How will you face your own mortality?
In order to Quit you will very likely have to admit to yourself that smoking represents a very real
danger to YOU and that you are mortal. In order to have smoked for as long as you have, you
have had to rationalize the warnings and dangers associated with your habit. In some way, on
some level, you have convinced yourself that the demons and dangers, the cancer, the
emphysema, the heart disease and all the rest would bypass you.
That rationalization, for me, is what I have called my immortality. In order to give in to my desire
to Quit, I had to surrender my own immortality and accept my mortality. And I had to recognize
that the romance of smoking was a sham. Smoking does not make me suave, or
debonair or cool ... but it was oh so nice when I could ignorantly believe that it
DID.
God bless one and all who enter here.
just4u - 5/2000 - Vince
After almost a year and a half of smobriety, I have conditioned myself to replace the void that
smoking used to occupy with less destructive activities. I don't miss the cigarets I would smoke
at parties or meetings to disguise my self-consciousness. I have learned to take a break at work
without having to get a nico-fix. I can drink coffee, have a thingytail, mow my lawn, finish a meal,
drive my car (or sit in traffic), eat breakfast, visit a diner, take a walk ... and do all of the
thousands of routine activities that we all accomplish each day without having a cigaret.
I am not tempted by having smokers around me ... including my wife who smokes nearly a pack
a day of the same brand I used to smoke. I find the smell of cigaret smoke to be repulsive
rather than enticing. When my business partner walks past my desk, the smokers' stench serves
as a reminder of how repulsive the results of this habit can be, rather than as a temptation to
indulge.
Cigarets have lost their glamour and their appeal. Even the imported cigars on which I
occasionally loved to splurge have lost their mystique.
One aspect of smoking that I do miss is all the fantasy and ceremony that surrounded the
activity. I miss the romance that has been inculcated by a lifetime of Marlboro men and movie
stars. I want to be Bogie in Casablanca, Sean Connery in Goldfinger, Cary Grant ... well I'd
like to be Cary Grant even on his worst day in any role. They were suave, debonair,
sophisticated and they all smoked.
Smoking was not only acceptable, it was virtually required in polite society. Look at the old TV
shows from the fifties and sixties ... everybody smoked. Lucy and Ricky smoked, Ed Norton
smoked, Darren and Samantha Stevens smoked, even Dr. Ben Casey, MD smoked (and if you
remember Ben Casey, then you're really showing your age. I remember him well.)
I find myself not so much missing smoking as missing being able to smoke without worry.
I miss smoking the same way I miss cars with big tail fins, solid steel dashboards and NO seat
belts. Four or five decades have not made those gas-guzzlers any less safe than they were
coming out of the showroom. All that has happened is that we, as a society and as a people,
have recognized the inherent danger in some of our behavior and have modified such behavior
based on our acknowledgement of the danger. Cars now have seat belts, padded dashboards,
air bags, crumple zones, steel roll cages and a thousand more safety features. Of course
today's cars are much safer than the cars of half a century ago ... but I miss the bliss of
that sublime ignorance.
As a child I "smoked" candy cigarets to be like the grown-ups and looked forward to the day
when I could join the ranks of the smokers as a rite of passage. When I began smoking real
cigarets as a teenager, my friends and I knew we were being cool, hip and we were impervious
to any danger. We smoked to be adults, and ironically we smoked with impunity because we
were so young.
For those who are still smoking and looking for the "way" to quit, remember that there is no
magic bullet, no master key, no "one-size-fits-all" cure. But please also keep in mind that there
may be a very real element of fear in approaching your prospective Quit.
... How will you fit in at parties?
... What will you do with your hands when speaking?
... How will you spend your coffee break?
... What will you do when you are bored?
...... or afraid?
...... or lonely?
...... or just relaxing?
And most of all,
...How will you face your own mortality?
In order to Quit you will very likely have to admit to yourself that smoking represents a very real
danger to YOU and that you are mortal. In order to have smoked for as long as you have, you
have had to rationalize the warnings and dangers associated with your habit. In some way, on
some level, you have convinced yourself that the demons and dangers, the cancer, the
emphysema, the heart disease and all the rest would bypass you.
That rationalization, for me, is what I have called my immortality. In order to give in to my desire
to Quit, I had to surrender my own immortality and accept my mortality. And I had to recognize
that the romance of smoking was a sham. Smoking does not make me suave, or
debonair or cool ... but it was oh so nice when I could ignorantly believe that it
DID.
God bless one and all who enter here.
just4u - 5/2000 - Vince
