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Post by Flo on Aug 11, 2006 17:01:20 GMT -5
As you may have noticed, I've been doing a lot of reading on the site. Excellent articles. I've noticed that some of them concern depression and quitting. It got me thinking. Ever since I quit smoking, I have not had any depressing thoughts. That's not to say I WON'T have any in the future as this may just be due to the fact that I'm still in the honeymoon stage of my quit (though it is quite long don't you agree but I must comment that I think that smoking brought on depression for me. Not depression in the clinical sense, but rather depressing thoughts which I would have to get over. I think that it made me see visions of me with an oxygen tank, with a bald head after chemo, of getting old and grizzly and wrinkled from smoking, from spending all this money on cigarettes, of being ostracized from society, and basically giving me a very negative, depressing view of my future if I continued to smoke and of course, feeling that I'd never be able to quit and that I'd be stuck with it for the rest of my miserable life. So, quitting has released a great deal of energy for me and made me quite overjoyed in not smoking. The peace of mind that quitting has brought is immeasureable and totally unforeseen. p.s. I got my pulse taken at lunch today and it is 68 which apparently is very good. Have a great weekend everyone! I'm planning to have a picnic by the beach this weekend if the sun comes back. It's been hiding all week...
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Post by Flo on Aug 11, 2006 10:13:10 GMT -5
AAADD
(Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder)
This is how it manifests ..... I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the front veranda table that I brought up from the letter box earlier, just after the mailman had been.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I put my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage bin beside the table, and notice that the bin is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the tableand take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the post box when I take out the garbage anyway (and the mailman picks up the mail at noon) ... I may as well pay the bills first. So, I take my cheque book off the table, and see that there is only 1 cheque left. My spare cheque book is in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking earlier this morning.
I know I going to look for my cheque book, but first I need to push the Coke can aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is warm, so I decide to put it in the refrigerator to make it cold again. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the dining room table catches my eye -- they need water I put the Coke on the dining room table and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to put more water in the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the table, go to the kitchen sink to get a jug and fill it with water and suddenly spot the TV remote on the window sill. Some-one left it there.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the window sill, so I decide to put it back in the lounge room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the jug, but spill some on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the kitchen bench, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day: - the car isn't washed - the cheque's aren't written for the bills to be paid - there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the dining room table - the flowers don't have enough water, - there is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book, - I can't find the remote, - I can't find my glasses, - the garbage hasn't been taken out - and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired now. I realise this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favour. Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I sent it to.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.
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Post by Flo on Aug 10, 2006 16:32:17 GMT -5
Future Novelists... These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef. She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up. Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever. He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife?s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn?t. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you?re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. The hailstones leaped up off the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resemble Nancy Kerrigan?s teeth. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the east river. Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. Young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while. "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a really duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something. The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with power tools. He was deeply in love when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up. She was as easy as the TV guide crossword. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
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Post by Flo on Aug 10, 2006 16:12:59 GMT -5
As I've Matured...
I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in...
I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets.
! I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just stupid.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
I've learned that it is not what you wear; it is how it makes you look.
I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and not pet the sweaty things. I've learned that ex's are like fungus, and keep coming back.I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
I've learned that I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy it.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I've learned that 99% of the time when something isn't working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I've learned that there is a fine line between genius and insanity. I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away. And the real pains in the "rear"are permanent.
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Post by Flo on Aug 9, 2006 10:08:01 GMT -5
In the hopes that there are others out there who are similarly affected by the full moon in Aquarius today, here are some questions to ponder: How do you get off a non-stop flight? How come wrong numbers are never busy? What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer. What did the right eye say to the left eye? Just between you and me, something smells. What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin’ Catholic. Why do they put bells on cows? Because their horns don’t work.
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Post by Flo on Aug 8, 2006 10:07:57 GMT -5
Had a beautiful long weekend here in Lotus Land aka Vancouver, Canada. Possibility of rain today and tomorrow but it is looking good for sun. 75-80 degrees here but the UV index is high. Five minutes and you're hurting!
Love being smoke free.
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Post by Flo on Aug 4, 2006 14:38:06 GMT -5
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. ~anonymous~
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Post by Flo on Aug 3, 2006 11:12:24 GMT -5
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Post by Flo on Aug 9, 2006 9:58:13 GMT -5
Thanks Elaine. I know. Such a shame, but you know what they say, when a door closes....
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Post by Flo on Aug 8, 2006 10:10:15 GMT -5
Thanks Don. You know this weekend, I flew all weekend with not a blip regarding smoking. I am constantly amazed and grateful. It's wonderful.
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Post by Flo on Aug 4, 2006 14:40:57 GMT -5
You're very welcome Karen. Glad I could do it. Let me know if it helps will ya?
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Post by Flo on Aug 4, 2006 10:07:42 GMT -5
How very true Slim. Thanks for the encouragement and appreciation. To everyone, I amended my post to indicate $608.00 saved from not smoking 72 days. The quit meter is, like most everything, US based, and the cost of a pack is much lower than here in Vancouver, Canada where they go for about $8.00 a pack, sometimes more. Insanity! Yet, money is not a factor in the dark night of the soul while you are going through withdrawals. It's a perk that comes with the quit, along with better breathing (which in my opinion is the first benefit), more stamina, better complexion, peace of mind, restored self-respect and self-confidence, re-connection with society at large....to all you smokers reading this, you really have to try it. Just for one day.
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Post by Flo on Aug 3, 2006 18:19:27 GMT -5
Thank you Ann.
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Post by Flo on Aug 3, 2006 11:17:25 GMT -5
Thank you Jimpops! You know, I don't know about you, but everytime I celebrate my quit, I get an urge. Just now, while doing a quick research on dreams for Karen who is going through this, I had an urge to smoke. If I analyze it, it could be associated with habit - but it is also a physical thing you know? But, it passes in a second. As long as you don't feed it.
I could never have sustained my quit without sites like this and the support and education it provides. I'm thinking of seeing if there are any support groups in my neighbourhood as well.
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Post by Flo on Aug 3, 2006 9:58:09 GMT -5
So, I've been smoke free for 72 days, 22 hours, 46 minutes and 39 seconds Cigarettes NOT smoked: 1385 Lifetime Saved: 10 days, 13 hours Money Saved: $608.00
It seems like such a tiny quit compared to my friend who's been quit for 20 years now or even a year, but it's still a miracle and it's mine and I love it and treasure it. I am still in the honeymoon stage of the quit. I still marvel and groove on not smoking. I still have moments of real relief and even some pride when I realize I no longer smoke.
The other day, walking in front of me, on my walk home from work - this man - tall, big, long pony tail, white shirt over jeans, loose, not tucked in - kind of a Steven Segal look from the back - and walkin' ever so loosely, enjoying the summer breeze...and having a cigarette. I tripped out on him and then realized that I was getting sucked in - if I were to fall for this guy I would eventually let him smoke around me and well....you fill in the blanks. So, no way, goodbye gorgeous. I quit smoking and I don't go with guys who smoke.
"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character: it becomes your destiny."
Frank Outlaw
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